AND I DO KNOW THAT SHE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO READS WHAT IS WROTE HERE AND THAT SHE DOES NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT AND SHE NEEDS TO LIVE HER LIFE AS SHE PLEASES BUT AT THE SAME TIME I FEEL LIKE SHES THE ONLY ONE WHO I CAN TRUST AND TELL THINGS AND I DONT KNOW FOR HOW MUCH LONGER I WILL BE ABLE TO LIVE WITH MYSELF