So... I did it again. That's it. I can't hide this from my bloguinho.
My heart started beating faster and harder, as it always does when you know what happens.
The worst thing, I think, is the fact that I become weirdly "energized" (in lack of a better word) whenever this happens. I start to feel the motivation to do the things that I need to do in order to "craft" a better Adriano, you know?, the things that I need to do in order to get the fuck out of this fucking life-sucking hole (this sounds like an existential porn category) that my past self + circumstances that were out of his control got me into. Things like to learn Excel, to improve my English skills, to take care of myself, to study to ENEM, etc.
Besides that, since this suddenly sensation of "energy" arise on me every single time after you know what happens, I am starting to think this is becoming a habit. This cannot go any further. I mean it.
And just another thing: I've come to realize that whenever I got something that I can't seem to get out of my head or something that makes me sad or frustrates me, or etc, etc, etc, I come here to write and complain about it. And I do not know what to do about this. Maybe I should start to write about good things and some other thoughts, just like it was at the beginning of this Blog....
Senhor Jesus filho de Deus, how does one single human being is able to have such a large and intense impact on me? Things were not any better when I still had not got to know her, but she really does hurts me. She really does...
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