I don't want to laugh about this in the future or something like that. I want to absorb all the good things this path is providing me and move on. That is it. I don't want to become resentful again. I really don't want that and I'm doing my best to accomplish it.
 But I feel like this is too much. I can't take it no longer. It's just... too much suffering. I don't want to forget her or never talk to her again, but if I don't find another way, what's going to happen? I'm thinking I'm going insane over this.

 I love her with all my heart and I want the best for both of us.